It Takes Time

We'll ignore momentarily, the lapse of 10 months since my last post.  Or - perhaps - celebrate it in the vein of this post: it takes time (for my ideas to peculate?)  Although if I claim I've been thinking about writing this for ten months, that would be a lie....because I just went on a scavenger hunt for the photos and found them in my December folder.  December 2013.  I also can't claim that thinking about this topic for 4 1/2 years has made this post particularly eloquent or even coherent, but I've thought about writing it for that long, so let's just take this as a lesson in just how long things can linger on my mental to-do list, and move on.

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On to a topic of homemaking that I think is a frustration for many of us in the age of Pinterest, HGTV, and decor blogs.  We are inundated with images of homes full of perfect furniture, styled bookshelves, and picture frame vignettes - in short, picture perfection. 

And then, looking around our own homes, with the yard sale dining table, and the off-shade of paint in the kitchen, and that awkward corner we have no idea how to furnish, we feel defeated.  Or, we get trapped in an oscillating cycle of inspiration and desperation; seeing ALL of the possibilities and ALL of the projects and not knowing where or how to start, we throw up our hands at the lack of funds for a full kitchen renovation, and fail to take ten minutes to rearrange the cabinets so the ugly coffeemaker can move off the countertop.

I don't think the challenge is so much being exposed to these pictures of lovely homes, or that the problem is aspiring to having coordinating throw pillows and ideal furniture layouts.  The problem is wanting it all NOW.  Our instant gratification culture has us convinced that a makeover is a weekend project, and that you can go from "before" to "after" in the blink of a camera shutter.  We believe that the "after" is the "finished," the "final," the "perfect."

I am typing this up tonight in the midst of trying to find the magic bullet that will turn our large "back room" office/family room/play room into the cozy and stylish room I have in my head slash Pinterest board.  I want to be able to make a few quick changes and suddenly have it ready for a photo shoot.  More realistically, it will be a process of tweaks.  It has been a process of tweaks, if I remind myself that last fall the couch was still in the corner, or that two years ago I still had two tiny and mismatched area rugs, or that three years ago we hadn't yet drywalled the ceiling or painted the awful paneling.  Baby steps, each gradual improvement getting us closer to a room I love.

As a home rightfully grows over time, slowly improved with realizations about how spaces are best utilized and accented with collections opened on decades worth of Christmas mornings, a homemaker also develops.  Academic and corporate settings have a hierarchy that clearly reminds us how much we know or how much experience we have (and, most often, rewards commensurate responsibilities).  For better or worse, homemaking and motherhood carries a whole lot of (important) responsibilities that are heaped on all at once, and it's not a secret that young wives and mothers can feel overwhelmed under the pressure to do everything well. 

We perhaps tend to forget that there's a reason that grandma and the partner in the firm can perfectly juggle the timing of the turkey and all the sides, or the difficult client call (mutually exclusive examples, although probably there's some grandma out there who is somehow handling both).  Experience begets mastery.

Lack of mastery should not and can not be the cause for throwing in the towel.  It must be the motivation to continue trying, continue gaining experience.  To continue tweaking rooms, continue repainting when you hate the wall color.  To continue figuring out how to respond with charity and patience to tantruming children, continue trying new ways to structure the week's cleaning and laundry routines. 


The way to be satisfied in the current state is to recognize it as such - the current state, a path towards the ideal.  We are (or should be) in constant growth, becoming more and more of the people we want (and God wants!) us to be.  We can't expect to reach that state tomorrow, but we also can't stop trying.  Each day has to bring a step towards that ideal.  Better everyday, but not perfect yet.

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Pictural evidence of lovely spaces that grow over time, in my parent's beautiful home with my sister for reference.  (And - the room has continued to improve over the last 5 years since I snapped this shot and originally thought about writing this).

Mom's living room, circa early 2000s

2013

How I'm getting things done these days

For the last few weeks, I've been checking more than usual off both my daily chores and my house project lists.  A big part of this, of course, is that Peter has a regular nap and bedtime routine that gives me some free evenings (and free hands during the day) and that we've gone almost two months without anyone needing antibiotics (!).  So there are certainly circumstantial reasons why the clean clothes are all currently folded and not in a heap on my bedroom floor.  

But even though it's easier to get things done, it still requires effort on my part.  I'm still prone to all my crazy reasons of procrastination (more here), but I've been repeating two mantras to myself, and those shifts in mindset have seemed to be a big help.

1) Don't wait until it can be completed perfectly to start.

This applies to both upkeep chores and renovation/crafty projects.  I was out in the backyard last week with the kids and felt annoyed that our back porch was still painted bright red, that the furniture was haphazardly placed there, and that it was so far from my mental (and Pinterest) image.  I knew there was a lot to be done, some of which probably won't be done this season.  But I finally decided to just trim the bush.  One tangible step towards the space being tamed and beautiful.  I immediately felt better about the whole area and more committed to making it more like my vision.

Within a few hours of my first clip, we were at Lowe's buying porch paint.  Credit for that trip to Anna, who caught wind of the project (and her mother's improvement enthusiasm) and asked to go to Lowe's "right now, mommy!"

Fast forward to the pretty pictures, and the porch is a much prettier, happier space.  I enjoy looking out my kitchen window.  We have had lovely mornings with our breakfast and library books out there.  Sure, there is more to be done.  But it was an important lesson in taking the first step towards a goal, and in recognizing that a space that is halfway towards what you want it is far more enjoyable than a space that is 0% of the way there.  

I'm trying to train myself to look at everything else this way.  We are planning to do a major kitchen renovation in a few years.  I used to resign myself to being dissatisfied with its form and function until then, but I've recently identified a few small things I can do to make it prettier and more operational.  I haven't even done these projects yet, but just knowing I can already makes me like my current kitchen more.

I've also tried to remember this rule in the typical day-to-day jobs, too.  I don't have to wait for a block of time sufficient to iron all the shirts to do one or two.  And, bite by bite, the elephant is eaten.

(reminiscent of the "use the moments" observation from this old post)

2) Obedience to the circumstances of my life.

We were listening to a Catholic radio broadcast in the car the other day, and the host was talking about obedience in daily life.  Many of us are familiar with the vows of priests and sisters, to poverty, chastity, and obedience.  This broadcast was talking about how these virtues are not exclusive to those in religious life, but rather are a calling for all Christians.  These virtues are, of course, manifest in different ways depending on ones state in life (celibacy for the religious and exclusivity for the married), but are not to be ignored by the laity.

I am not called to obedient to a bishop or superior in the same way that a priest or sister would be, but I am reminded of the story of St. Therese, who would drop her pencil mid-sentence (not even pausing to dot an i) when the bell chimed for prayer.  She was obedient to her obligations and responded promptly, even to the schedule.

The radio host was talking about the weather, and how we can be cheerfully obedient to whatever comes our way, accepting it without grumble.  I've extended this to my daily chores.  There is work to be done, and it is my responsibility to do it.  I'm working on silencing my inner grumble and doing whatever needs done promptly and cheerfully.  

As I was making my way through my copious ironing back-log today, I realized I would typically dig through the basket, looking for the things I enjoy doing to do first, leaving a pile of polo shirts at the end.  It became a bit of a game today, picking up what was on top and doing that immediately.  The whole process today was both quicker and happier.  This of course, is a simple and silly way of practicing obedience, but I'm hopeful that in emptying the training potty without interior complaint, I will learn to be obedient and accepting of actual challenge or suffering.

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I think there's a Nike "Just Do It" hidden in both of these mindsets, and in both cases, it's requiring me to focus on the process and the progress over the end result.  I read last night that for effective goal setting, one should focus on the activity rather than the accomplishment (e.g., I will exercise everyday instead of I will lose 10 pounds).  I think that my most recent copy of my resume describes me as "results-oriented," but perhaps the new "progress oriented" version of myself will get me happily closer to those results than ever before.

The Instagram effect

Back in late October, I spent a week at my parent's house with my brother and sister and my three kiddos.  Most of us adults are still recovering from the lack of sleep that entailed (this was one of Julia's first ear infections, and before we knew that screaming all the time was her #1 symptom...), so it wasn't exactly the fun and relaxing visit we had imagined.  BUT during that visit my siblings introduced me to Instagram, and then we got my fabulous mom to join, too.

Of course, given my propensity to over-analyze my (sometimes excessive) technology use, I've gone back and forth about this new development, wondering if it's really worth my time.

Then recently, with our travels and otherwise busy schedule, I unintentionally took a multi-week hiatus.

The thing that I missed, in retrospect, was an excuse to look for the positive and sweet moments of my day.  Posting to Instagram makes me stop, smile, and appreciate the silly and the precious that's mixed in with the crazy and the frustrating of every day.  Should I admit publicly that posting more regularly has helped improve my overall outlook?

My re-commitment to posting on the blog has had a similar effect, and I found myself over the weekend making mental notes about things the girls said, wanting to remember them and write them out here.  I wish I was better at keeping nice, written baby books for the kids, but in this case, the perfect is the enemy of the good.  My ideal of having physical records prevents me from even keeping track at all, and then time passes and I have nothing saved.  Poor Julia's year of milestones was such a blur that I have little to no recollection of her first rolls, steps, or words.

With all that said, today Pete got himself from laying down to sitting up for the first time.  And his top tooth - which has been coming in for two months now - finally broke through.

And this weekend, I was reminded over and over of the sweet mis-pronunciations that both girls use:

They love to play the "pe-nano."  And they were thrilled to attend a "festi-bull" at the school.

I'll probably always wrestle with the role of technology in our lives, but for now I'm giving myself permission to enjoy having an excuse to appreciate and remember the sweet spots of my day!

baby plants, baby people

Any posts I put together in the near future are very likely to revolve around my garden.  I've dubbed it my 4th baby for the summer (although maybe we should call it my 5th, because I always said that our Ithaca house was my first baby).

I never had a particularly green thumb before, although I think that was more for lack of attention (so many other projects!) and so there may have been some discussions in our house this spring as to whether or not I'd actually follow-through with weeding and watering and whatnot if we build the beds.

If anything kills my garden this year, it's not going to be neglect.  (Actually, the biggest problem I had so far was seeds that didn't sprout due to too much love, err, water).

The gardening season has coincided nicely with the development of Peter's reliable evening sleep habits, as well as with the girls new no-nap-early-bedtime schedule, and so I have a nice little chunk of time to spend outside.  It's incredibly peaceful to be able to do a task with painstaking attention and without interruption.

There are disappointments, of course, like the aforementioned packets of seeds that didn't materialize because I flooded them.  Or Tuesday evening when I discovered that our neighbor's cat(s) decided my fledgling zinnas patch was the best place to go to the bathroom.

But mostly I just wonder at the miracles God created (it's really amazing, isn't it - what grows from dirt?!) and breathe deeply and appreciate that I'm able to see relatively quick results at what love will grow.

Gardening isn't all that different from parenting, in the sense that "everything grows with love" (I saw a t-shirt with a cactus and that phrase before and thought it was brilliant and hilarious).  People (especially little ones) need someone to pay attention to how much water they've had to drink and whether or not they're overwhelmed by the sun or if someone is totally crowding out their space.  And grown-ups and kids alike thrive on love.

I am discovering that the behavior and mood of certain children of mine are particularly  PARTICULARLY sensitive to their sleeping and eating needs. (At which point I'm sure Justin would point out that apples don't fall far from mother tree...)  And yet sometimes, even when I think they've been pretty well rested and pretty well fed, there can still be an afternoon of tantrums.

I can only do so much, and it's an illusion that I could control every single factor to keep my (human and plant) babies growing perfectly.  My evenings of careful transplanting into straight little rows is balm for my soul after crazy days, but there's still the weather and the animals and the bugs and the mold to remind me that I'm not really in charge, and how much I depend on God to even open my eyes.  But He has given us the beautiful opportunity to cooperate with His grace, to nurture what He has given to us.

It's rewarding to see the results of love poured out in time and attention.  Less obviously in children, given that their seed-to-bloom time is a marathon and not a single summer.  But I'll keep digging away, day after day, watering, pruning, loving, appreciating.  What a wondrous gift we have to love things into bloom.

 
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I'm not sure that this reflection is entirely coherent, but it was on my mind as I gardened this evening.  One of my other musings (and potential next post) is about doing something towards a goal instead of waiting until it can be perfect, so I'm going to apply that to this blog and hit publish!  Thanks for your kind response thus far to this reintroduction, and please know that your comments are so very much appreciated and inspire me to keep writing.

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One last thought, I recently discovered the blog Better than Eden and was particularly moved by her post "When I'm hurting, draw me closer."  It's at least tangentially related to this post, or perhaps it's just on my mind because it's something I wish I had done better during the latest round of tantrums today, but I think it's worth a read!

Here we go again

A few things have happened recently.

(Well, between my last regular posts and now, a lot of things have happened.  Including a whole new, wonderful person who was added to our family.  But I digress).

Specifically, recently, a few things have happened:

1) I've been doing projects.  Things ground to a halt when I found out I was pregnant 18 months ago.  Since Peter's birth in September, I've had fits and starts of normalcy, but for the most part we've been thrown continually back into survival mode, especially by ear infections.  It doesn't take much to upset our (my?) equilibrium and routine for 3 kids four and under, but the unrelentless cycles of sickness really made it tough to find our normal.  15 doses of antibiotics and one ear surgery later, things are finally looking up.  Poor Julia is not in pain. We're all sleeping,  And I've got dirt and paint under my fingernails.

2) I read through my blog archives.  A few nights ago, I randomly decided to read some old posts, and ended up spending more than an hour laughing and crying myself through the memories.  I had forgotten how much I had captured, and was amazed by how little of it I would have remembered if it wasn't saved electronically.

My day-in-the-life post from November 2014 hit me hard:

"A few minutes later, I found myself basking in just how precious Anna was - I had called her a silly goose, and she said "nooo!  I'm Anna Rose, Mommy!" and she leaned her head on the door frame and looked at me with her big beautiful eyes and started singing "Rock-a-bye, Anna Rose."  And in that moment, I felt a great loss for how many of these beautiful moments that I cannot adequately capture or remember.  Over the course of the day, she makes me laugh and smile over and over again with her hilarious and sweet comments, and by the time Justin gets home I'm lucky if I can think of even one of them to tell him, and even then, the retelling is never as sweet as her little voice or her little head tilt.  I wish I had a constant video camera stream to replay all of those moments - for my own sake and for sharing, too."

3) I was honored to give advice to a mom-to-be.  A few weeks ago, I received an email asking me to share an inspirational message at a baby shower for a friend.  I was shocked and surprised at the invitation.  Even though the friend herself had asked privately for advice on pregnancy and motherhood, I couldn't believe when her mother asked me to speak at the shower and share my thoughts more publicly.  I still feel unworthy of the task, especially since I gave my talk to a room full of mothers with decades more experience than I.  Nonetheless, it got me to thinking....

And in reading this post, can you guess where all those things led?  Back here to Finding Former Glory.

My life is more hectic these days, and there are exponentially more sweet moments for me to forget.  More sadly, some days I think I'm too busy to notice, let alone remember.  I don't want these years to slip away.  And not just the adorable toddler comments, but my thoughts on motherhood.  My challenges and joys.

Sure, I could start a journal, but I've always been better with external motivations.  Maybe, just maybe, there are some friends out there for whom my ramblings are helpful.

And there will at least be projects (and adorable children) for photo fodder.

The miraculously imperfect

I sat down this afternoon for a little 15 minute rest and was giving myself a pep-talk about how Christmas will not be ruined if we leave some of the decorations in the storage bin, or if we have fewer desserts on the buffet at the party, and if Peter does not have a little red and green bowtie/vest combo to wear to Mass.

And it hit me - we're celebrating the miraculous in the imperfect.  A long, grueling trip.  No room in the inn.  Smelly, mooing creatures to greet the babe.

And regardless of the propriety or lack thereof, of the preparations or lack thereof, Christ came among us.  Despite our imperfections.  Nay, because of our imperfections.

This celebration is not about the surroundings or the visitors or the gifts.  It is about the love and the joy of His Presence, a presence that laughs in the face of human expectations.

So put away the to-do list and look beyond the unswept floors, and look to the smile of friends, the glee of the toddler, and above all to the babe in the manger, the one whose perfect love comes amidst our imperfect world.

Merry Christmas!


And keeping with the theme of imperfection, no time for pictures today!  Just imagine a nice shot of a manger here...and pretend that there was a nice summary to catch you up with the last 15 months since I last posted.  Maybe it won't be that long again :)

Maybe I meant next September ;)

When I posted that I'd be back in September, I really meant it.

But now that it is October, I clearly didn't.

If we could find a way to download my brain when I'm doing menial tasks, we'd have quite the blog.  But alas, that technology isn't available.  Well, it might be, I guess; I'm not actually interested in finding out.

We've been in the house almost 3 months now.  And it feels like home.  It feels like the place my heart has longed for over the last year - and, really, it longed for even in Ithaca when I thought I was content in my dream house.  I've learned that the place itself isn't really that important, but what is inside that makes it home.

The people, of course.  The things we need and use and love.  And, most of all, the relationships and the life that is built among those walls.

I have learned so many lessons about living intentionally, about living like Granny, about seizing the day and working hard and reaping the benefits, and of authentic relationships and true relaxation.  And all of the things that were theoretical for so long are coming to fruition in this house.

I've been so busy living this life that I (obviously) haven't written about it.  And I'm not sure when - or if - I will.  Stepping away from the Internet has been a lot more than just a refreshing pause to re-establish habits.  It's been a chance to really step into the authentic life we'd been too busy to create.

I'm not ready to say good-bye permanently to this blog, but I'm also not ready to put another timeline on when (or if) I'll write.  Now that the pressure's off, I might be inspired to write tomorrow.  But it might be next year.  Until then, all the best!

See you in September

I have so much to share about the house progress and how thrilling it is to finally be 'home' and how enjoyable and relaxing and productive our quiet evenings have been due to our Internet hiatus that I don't really know where to start.  And coupled with my recent discovery (unfortunately, after taking a bunch of great pictures!) that the camera cord has yet to be located, I'm going to call this an official blog break until we're a bit more settled.  August will still be busy with getting things set up and enjoying the rest of summer before the craziness of the fall semester, so I'm going to remove blogging from my to-do list for now - although it was already not getting done, now I don't have to feel guilty about wanting to do it and not.  I don't think that I'm ready to quit altogether, so let's meet back here in September and I'll show you lots of pretty "after" pictures :)

Until then, you can feel free to check out the "before" tour

or the house tour of our first house

or some of my thoughts on being a homemaker.

Passing the Time or Time Passing By?

A few weeks ago, when going through some hand-me-down craft supplies, I happened to end up with a copy of Woman's Day from July 1975.

It was so fascinating to hold a time capsule into, well, a woman's day 40 years ago.

And on some accounts, those days were just like mine - cooking (although I'm apparently lacking in the jello salad department), decorating (there were some sweet tips for "Furnishing the Multipurpose Room"), budgeting / dealing with stress / trying to find a flattering hair style.

And on other accounts, it was another reminder of how much our society has changed in a relatively short period of time.  The ads made me chuckle.  Cigarette advertising was prevalent, without so much as a blink about it being an unhealthy habit.  And there were sad reminders of what we've lost - the baseline assumptions about the sanctity of marriage in the heart-warming reflection by one young wife would be laughed off the page in today's hook-up culture.

But by far the biggest shocker was the first article touted on the front cover: "PRETTY SUMMER FASHIONS" ...not surprising, but keep reading... "To Knit, Crochet, and Sew."

There were pages of pages of projects - to knit, crochet, and sew - and we're not talking a 15 minute glue-gun craft that might grace a page of a modern magazine.  They're presenting full-length crochet swim cover-ups, the kind of project you or I may think of starting now in hopes of being done by next summer.  Or perhaps the one after that.

Apparently, in 1975, magazine publishers could assume that the average woman could knit, crochet, or sew AND that she had time to do so.

Historically, people have had "pastimes" - you know, activities like crafts and jigsaw puzzles and sitting around singing hymns - because they literally needed to pass the time.  To our ears, so overwhelmed by the cacophony of modern life, the idea that someone could need to save themselves from staring at the walls evening after evening is crazy.  After all, we can't even find time to look at the walls or notice and evict the family of spiders who have claimed the corner real-estate.  The thought of staring at the wall for 30 seconds sounds luxurious, and a whole quiet evening laughably unattainable.

In a society where "checking email quick" is code for "see you in 30 minutes when I return from this Facebook rabbit hole," we never have to pass the time.  It's passing us.  How many days have you looked up from your phone or computer or TV to see the clock and be shocked by the minutes and - be honest, hours - that have slipped right by?  How many evenings have your to-dos sat undone and your pastimes left untouched?

It's a delicate balance beam we walk in this brave new world of technology.  So many connections, benefits, and useful pieces of information, but at what cost?  Our busy, connected, informed lives whiz right by without any time to sit and enjoy, or to recharge.

So tonight, my (ironic Internet) soapbox is to ask each of you: are you passing your time or is it passing you by?  And, is that how you want to live your life?

Simplify.  Disconnect.  Live intentionally and purposefully.

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To this end, Justin and I are really excited about our adventure in the new house - we're intentionally delaying our Internet installation.  We don't have a set time to sign-up.  It can't be too long, or the grandmothers will revolt for re-institution of Skype dates, but we're going to have some blissfully quiet and undistracted evenings.  I suspect we'll need to pass the time (ha, with unpacking boxes, probably), and I look forward to the board games and chats on the back porch and the projects I find in hand to fill those evenings.

More importantly than those weeks of forced disconnect, I'm excited about the new habits we'll form, hopefully habits that will last once we're reconnected.  I've recently been reading Gretchen Rubin's "Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of our Everyday Lives" and was very convinced of the idea that this move (or any other change, like a new job, etc) can be a starting point for new habits.  This forced removal of the temptation to be constantly online isn't the only thing I'll be tackling - we've made a point already (amidst boxes galore) to focus on some of the things that need to be in place to contribute to the simple and functional home of our dreams (for example, we're training Anna (and ourselves!) to always put everything back in its place as soon as we're done using it).

And, don't you worry, I can still blog without Internet at home.  Our house is a short walk to Justin's (well-wired!) campus, and I have daydreams of slipping out to the coffee shop here and there to catch up on a little blogging.  As always, stay tuned :)

A little better, eh?

I'm really just in this for the before-and-after pictures, you know :)

(Look out, couch (and random displaced faux flowers), I'm coming for you next!)

Since March (and, more accurately, in the last few weeks), we have:

- Removed kitchen wallpaper
- Removed stairwell/hallway wallpaper
- Replaced all outlets & switches in the house
- Hung, finished, and painted new drywall ceiling in the den
- Painted all of the trim in the house
- Painted 6 rooms (kitchen, living, dining, den, 2 bedrooms) and the stairwell/hallway
- Ripped out 6 rooms worth of carpeting
- Removed the built in desk in the den
- Removed window coverings

And, of course, had the new carpeting and hardwood floors installed (upstairs and downstairs, respectively).

I'm excited (ok, honestly, giddy!) about the progress to date.  But don't worry, we've left plenty of projects (besides just unpacking!):

I'll try to keep you updated with more pictures, but be forewarned about the sappiness that might come next week when we finally get to be ... HOME!  For good!

Quick Takes: Edition 15

So, ya know, sometimes you wait a few months between posts, and sometimes you wait...a few hours?!  It's just that Julia woke up with a terrible belly ache a little while ago, and I finally got her settled on the couch next to me and now I'm afraid to move (her or me!), and...have computer, will blog.

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I finally realized that I could/should do more than just link to new posts on my blog Facebook page (partially because it's something I can access from my mildly intelligent phone).  So if you're in to some behind the scenes Finding Former Glory fun, click like over HERE on my page!

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If you have been following along on Facebook, then you saw this picture:

Justin ripped out the upstairs carpets (in preparation for the new carpets) and found beautiful oak hardwoods.  Figures that the downstairs (where we're installing hardwood) only had plywood under the carpet.

There ended up being a little "what 'wood' you do" debate on Facebook regarding whether or not we should try to cancel our carpet order and stick with these floors.  The overwhelming majority votes to keep the hardwood, which part of me would love to do, but we have decided that carpeting is just best for us right now in the babies-rolling-around-on-floors stage of life.  As Justin pointed out, we still own these floors, and we can always take the carpets out someday and refinish the floors.  (Consolation for those who were on team hardwood - the bedrooms aren't in as good a shape as the halls, there would have been a lot of work to clean them up.  Plus - downstairs will be wood!)

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Have I mentioned how ready I am for a normal routine?!  I've been grateful for help with the girls (thanks to Justin's mom this week!) while we work on the house, but as much as I felt I needed a break after this crazy semester, I'm not emotionally used to being away from them, and as much as I love painting and renovating I'm ready to get back to cooking and cleaning on a (semi-)regular basis. I guess it's a good reminder that - despite the frustrations - I am truly grateful that I'm able to spend my days at home.  All of the experiences of this month and really this whole last year will make settling into the house so much sweeter.

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Oh!  I have had a lot of fun answering your questions on painting and "How does one create an orderly home for one's family without neglecting said family?" so hit me with your other renovation/homemaking/motherhood post topics and I'll try to get something together :)

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I'm fading fast (and sweet Julie seems ready to head to her crib) so I'm going to make these last few super quick with a cell phone photo dump of the cutest little renovation assistant you've ever seen.  These were pre-carpet removal - the girls haven't been at the house since they were removed and won't be back until the new carpet is down (uncovered tack strips - aka, lots and lots of nails) are a toddler disaster waiting to happen.

If you're looking for more coherence, check out my post from earlier:

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Anna "paints"

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Anna does drywall

I reserve my happy dance for after drywall is finished, 

but I don't rock the tool belt quite like she does, either ;)

Linking up with Kelly.  Goodnight!

10 Tips for Choosing Paint Colors for your Home

It's that time, ladies and gentlemen!  I've finally put away the drywall sanding block, and today my cart at Lowe's looked like this:

Having bit the bullet on the entire downstairs color palette today, I felt inspired to share a few tips today for choosing paint colors.  Let's call it installment one of my promised paint tutorial.

1) Bring lots of paint chips home.  They're free, the lighting at the store is weird, and Pinterest has lots of crafty ideas for the leftover cards.  It's best to have lots of options- and you might be surprised by what you like in your space!  The more light/neutral your color, the more important it is to compare a lot, because...

2) Everything has an undertone.  Take tans for example.  At first glance, they probably look tan, tan, and tan.  But, hold them up together and you'll start to notice that one is a yellow-tan, one is a pink-tan, and one is a green-tan.  The undertones are a lot more apparent when the color covers more than 2 square inches, so pay careful attention.  This is easiest to do if you...

3) Look up and down the swatch.  Looking at the deeper/darker colors towards the bottom of a swatch can help to give you a sense of the undertones.  I'm of the opinion that you should like all of the colors on the card you're using, even if you don't think they'd work for your space (again, because they're really versions of the same one you're picking).  And while you're moving up and down the swatch...

4) Don't be afraid of intense colors.  Don't assume you should use the lightest swatch on every card.  Especially if the space is well-lit and if the ceiling and trim is white, you can go with the bold colors you really like.  Choosing something "moody" (i.e., with some gray or tan undertones, as opposed to a true primary color) can keep it from looking juvenile.  Just make sure you...

5) Coordinate your rooms.  Don't be afraid of the bold colors you like, but DO be afraid of all the random colors you like!  Your rooms are a connected part of a whole, so don't turn them into bright stand alone areas that make the whole house feel like a disjointed kaleidoscope.  You can also try to chose colors that have the same undertones (see above).  One way to keep things synchronized is to...

6) Chose an inspiration piece for your whole house palette.  It can be difficult to chose colors to coordinate if you don't have a starting point.  Chose a piece of fabric, or a pillow, or furniture, or some artwork that you really love (and that isn't monochromatic) and make sure that all of your paint selections match it.  Mine is this blanket.  And in addition to paying attention to that inspiration, also...

7) Pay attention to your house's style.  Not every color or palettes - no matter how much you like them - will be right for every space.  Especially be cautious of using trendy or pure bright colors in an older homes.  And be mindful that you...

8) Don't paint yourself into a decor corner.  Unless you have a budget for all new furnishings, don't paint your rooms in a scheme that won't coordinate with your existing furniture, art, and accessories.  If you are waiting to update your furniture but don't have the budget right now, stick with some neutral colors that work with your existing things and can also work with future purchases.  Either way...

9) Ignore the color names.  It's fun to read all of the color names (and to think that someone's job is to create them!) but when it comes to choosing your paint, they're irrelevant.  Take, for instance, our new carpet.  We selected it at one shop, and discovered that the name was, charmingly "Teacake."  When we compared prices at another location, we found that the company has different names for the same product line when it's sold by different distributors (crazy practice, but let's not go there).  At that shop, our same carpet was called (ick) "Cobweb."  Go with what you like to see - the name isn't going to be printed on the walls but the color sure will!

And above all, remember:

10) Go with your gut feelings on what you like.  You can see all the inspiration pictures (and read all of the *ahem* wisdom about picking colors!) that you like, but ultimately you have to go with what you and your family love, and what makes you happy to live in your space.  Most importantly, don't let analysis paralysis keep you from painting your rooms.  If you've been itching to repaint, you'll like whatever you chose more than you like whatever happens to be there now!  If you've narrowed your selection to just two or three and it feels like you can't possibly chose between them because they're just too similar - just pick one!  If you can't figure out which is better, chances are they're not different enough to make a big difference in how your room looks.  Make a selection and get thee to the paint counter!

Happy painting :)

Making a Home without Neglecting your Family {part 1}

A few days ago, a dear friend (fellow homemaker, and mother to three cute little boys ages 4 and under) sent me a message saying "Blog request: How does one create an orderly home for one's family without neglecting said family?"  I thought this was an excellent topic on the heels of my posts about creating a simple and intentional home environment.  Although blogging probably shouldn't be at the top of my list right now (we've got 5 rooms to strip of carpet, 6 to paint, and one drywall ceiling to finish before the carpet installers come next Monday), I'm allowing myself the opportunity to take a little mental break and spend a little time writing and share some of my thoughts on this topic.

(For those of you still holding out for the long-awaited painting post, I'm still working on it, I promise!  And, just think of how much more wisdom I'll have to offer after this week ;))

So, how DO you make a home for your family without neglecting said family?

I think the first - and very important - point to make is that making (or creating, as my friend put it)  home is much different than maintaining a home.  When you're in a state of disarray or a season of craziness, it's hard to imagine that you will ever reach a point of normalcy or stability, or that cleaning the playroom will ever be less than a two-hour archaeological dig.  It IS unrealistic in a messy and cluttered and overwhelming house (or construction site!) to think that you can do all of the necessary housework and simultaneously provide for all of the needs of the numerous tiny residents.  But don't throw in the towel yet.  Making a home can be a shorter, more intense period and a time of development of priorities, family routines, etc that can make way for an environment that is far more easily maintained.  I genuinely think it's possible to reach a state where at least the basic homemaking tasks can be completed without overwhelming yourself or neglecting any children.

For us, right now, that means that Justin and I are employing several mother's helpers and have strategically scheduled visits from both grandmas so that the girls are in good hands while we focus on the house.  I have also allowed a lot of other things to slide (the extent of home cooking I've done in the last 10 days was one omelet) so that we can focus right now on getting the house ready to move in.  It is essential for us that I play a period of Bob Vila so that I can be Betty Crocker this fall and beyond.

Of course, home"making" might not mean physically hanging ceilings for everyone ;)  I think it's totally reasonable, however, to spend some dedicated time doing some serious purging and organizing, or even just to spend some time making a list of what you want your home and family life to look like and writing some goals of how to reach that ideal.  A temporary neglecting of basic chores (or outsourcing of childcare) can be vital to reaching a place where you can maintain both house and family.

Once all possessions have a place and some basic routines are established, the actual cleaning is much easier - and possible with little kids.  If all you have to do to clean the sink is clean it (aka, spray it down and wipe) and not move 6 bath toys, a melted make-up sample, and the missing sippy cup off of the bathroom counter, that can be reasonably accomplished while you're waiting for the toddler to finish up on the potty.  Vacuuming is a quick job if there aren't toys in the way.  You can keep up with emptying the dishwasher every morning if putting things in cupboards doesn't start 4 different avalanches.

There will still be messes and spills and deviations from the daily plan (we're talking toddlers, after all), and with a bunch of littles underfoot it is still unlikely that you can ever reach a pristine or perfectly run household.  However, I've heard time and time again from friends and bloggers that the season of all littles (meaning, only having kids in preschool or younger) is very difficult but that there is a light at the end of the tunnel once one or two kids are able to reliably pick up their toys and help out with some basic chores, or at the very least wipe their own bottoms and put on their own shoes.  In that sense, too, I think that you can consider the season of young motherhood as a period of homemaking that is setting the foundation for the home and family life you want to have.  Cliche as it is, the days now are long, but the years are short.  Hard work now in creating routines and expectations will mean a lot for how your household will run when everyone is in elementary school or junior and high school.

I'm going to do the reasonable thing and pause here so that I can get some sleep, but I jotted down a list of 8 tips for maintaining a home without neglecting your family and I'll pop back in with that (and the painting post!) when I can.  Until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts - leave me some comments :)

Eyes on the prize

You know what makes my heart happy?

To look out my kitchen window and see this:

I often take laundry to hang out at the new house when we're working there all day since I don't have the luxury (or a normally functioning dryer...) here at the house-sitting house.  And when I look up from peeling wallpaper or sanding spackle or (finally!) rolling on paint, to see the laundry billowing in the breeze (and my family picnicking on the porch), I get such a sense of joy welling up inside of me, and a gratitude that so very soon the simple pleasures of life in this charming little house will be mine everyday. 

Despite having known since February that this will be our house, my heart is still catching up to my brain, and I've been increasingly finding myself sobbing tears of joy (totally unhelpful when I'm trying to paint something) at the realization that we're actually going to live at the new house, that we actually will have our dishes in the cupboards and clothes in the closets, and at the end of the day we don't have to turn out the lights and drive away.  

There's a palpable longing from all four of us to just be home.  

I don't want to sound ungrateful for the blessing it has been to house sit this year.  It was a wonderful situation for us having moved to a new area, and in retrospect, I'd still chose this again - but more in the way that you chose going to the dentist than you chose spending time with friends.  I've learned a lot and grown a lot, but I'll be completely honest and say that I'm very glad it's almost over.

There have been a lot of little (first world!) annoyances, like the aforementioned dryer that needs three cycles to dry anything, and the size of the house that makes it impossible to find anything the toddler has touched, and the dog hair.  Oh, the dog hair.  It's an amazing house (and dog), really, and perfect for the family who lives here normally.  We're just not that family, and learning our own wants and needs in our living space has been very instructive.  

Most of all, the challenge of this year has been feeling perpetually in transition.  I looked back in my blog archives tonight and realized that one year ago, I had already put a significant portion of my belongings in boxes (many of which are still in box purgatory in the basement).  It's weary-ing to think that we have a long month of renovations to juggle, another packing of the truck, another unloading of the truck.  And - *duh* moment - I realized today that nothing will magically get into drawers or closets once we arrive.

These days have been physically and emotionally and mentally tiring - I've been doing more physical labor than normal, plus juggling a whole lot of details about floor colors and prices and the latest plan for the family room ceiling, all while worrying that this (necessary) month of craziness will permanently ruin the girls, or at least their nap schedules.

I crave normal, routine, home.

It seems impossibly far, and yet delightfully close.

And isn't that the human condition, really?  Our hearts were built yearning for something more, restless always until they rest in Him.  We instinctively know and desire that there is something - some place - beyond this messy, imperfect world where we long to be home.

If there's anything that Justin and I have learned in this year, it's that longing for a place of comfort and familiarity - and the realization that it will never entirely be fulfilled in this life, no matter how perfect the paint colors or how plushy the carpet (and, believe me, it's plushy, we ordered it today!)  There will always be (metaphoric and literal) stink bugs and dog hair and annoying dryers because life isn't perfect and because we have lessons to learn as we muddle through.  But someday, someday God willing, the brilliant beauty of Heaven will fulfill us at last.

Eyes on the prize.  Eyes on the prize.

Exhausted...

I am trying to come up with coherent sentences to bring you up to date since we last chatted house progress.  But, exhausted brain. 

So much list crossing, so little blogging.  

Yes, that's the (wall-paper free!) kitchen! (!!!!)  Stop what you're doing and do a little happy dance for me!  Or a happy conk on your pillow, that's how I'm going to celebrate the accomplishments of this week ;) Goodnight!

Fewer decisions, fuller joy {5 Favorite books for simple & intentional living}

So, as we're moving merrily along with our selections in flooring for the new house (we've successfully narrowed it down to a very manageable number of decisions, mostly minor, like which of the 50 shades of gray tan we'd like out of the brand of carpet we selected).

Sorry, Julia, that's about as much of that one as we could afford...

But, even with those (major) decisions under our belts, I've still found with a discernible undercurrent of feeling overwhelmed.  Overall, (thanks be to God) life is very good.  I really have no reason to complain but yet I have this nagging sense of stress.  As I sat and reflected last night, I came to realize that I just feel so cluttered - both homes, all of our possessions, and even mentally.  So many things to think, to do, to see, to deal with, to clean, to move, and to keep out of the baby's increasingly accurate roll & reach pattern.

Clutter.  Ultimately, so much stuff (physical and otherwise) is clamoring for our attention that we find ourselves spinning as the roads diverge in the yellow wood - but here, not two roads, but a seemingly infinite number of choices of what to do, where to put things, what to eat, what to wear, and what to read.  I'm using the royal "we" because I know I'm not the only one feeling lost in the sea of daily choices.

My situation is amplified right now because of the renovations and the juggling of the two houses, but I know even in "normal" times, modern life has an exceptional number of choices.  And so many choices - embodied by the 10 housekeeping chores (only one of which can be reasonably completed in a nap time), by the carpet strewn with toys (most of which you're not exactly sure where to keep), and the exploding Pinterest boards (many of which you'll never complete, even though you just keep pinning) - make the day seem almost claustrophobic.  And the necessity of too many decisions short-circuits our brain and we end up doing nothing.  We turn to the Internet as a distraction from the disorder, feeding our mental clutter and inhibiting our ability to control the physical mess that's encroaching from all sides.

I know I've been harping on this simplicity thing, but I'm becoming increasingly convinced that our culture is building a world that is quickly becoming suffocating, and if we don't stop the madness, well, no one will.  The craziness of the world is intruding in our homes, stealing peace and joy from the place that should be our family haven.

I think that if we can find a way to put some of ordinary life on autopilot, we can be fully present in the extraordinary.

The extraordinary here, of course, isn't a trip to Paris, but the belly laugh from the toddler and the chunky rolls on the baby's leg and the fuzzy caterpillar crawling across the porch while you sit and read for a quiet minute.

Fewer decisions about when and how to do things, where to store things, and less to think about in general: less physical clutter, less schedule clutter, less mental clutter means that our days can be more intentional, more productive, and more joyful.  A simpler lifestyle means that we have room to breathe - room to enjoy the extraordinary, even the beauty of the mundane.

If you, like me, want to make a change and need some wisdom on where to start, I highly recommend the following books:

(1) Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids  (Kim John Payne & Lisa M. Ross)

I am only one chapter in to this book, but am so incredibly impressed by the observations and suggestions (just in the introduction!) that I am confident that I should recommend it for all parents.  I list it first because I think it's the most important reminder - this simple living thing isn't just for pretty pictures of all-white kitchens.  It's the foundation for our children's understanding of the world, and if they grow up in cluttered chaos, that can't bode well for their emotional health as they grow.

(2) The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up  (Marie Kondo)

This Japanese cleaning consultant has some very poignant observations and an extremely useful process for purging - I had to wade through some ideology with which I didn't quite agree, but overall her ideas and tips are well worth the read.  (And you will be SHOCKED by how many items you find yourself dropping off at the Goodwill).

(3) A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul (Holly Pierlot) 

This has more to do with the simplicity and intentionality of schedule and time, but I think that reducing that type of clutter is just as important as physical clutter.

(4) Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living (Tsh Oxenrider)

This is equal parts "why" and "how" in terms of intentional, simple living.  More in my post HERE.

(5) Anything written before (or written about times before) the Internet.

I think our modern age is such an anomaly in terms of information overload that it can be really inspiring and didactic to read something written about/during times that were - by default - less cluttered (at least in terms of mental clutter, and often in terms of physical clutter, as well).

As a bonus, I'll give a nod again to my friend Rachel's book Minimize the Mess: A Mother's Guide to Simplifying Your Home  and I'm linking up with her today for 5 Favorites!


What are your favorite resources for simplifying?  I'd love to hear what you think about these books...and others that you have to recommend!

Decisions, decisions

You're probably expecting more in the way of progress pictures by now, but the reality is that there has not been a whole lot of photograph-able progress at the house since the great wallpaper success.

For one thing, I'm seeing just how much slower things are going to take now that we have "helpers" - and not necessarily because they are underfoot while we're trying to do things (although that can also be tricky) but because they need a lot better in terms of sleep schedules and nutrition than what we were able to survive on during our first renovations.  I also haven't fit in the 30-minute round trip drives over to the house as much as I expected when I'm barely hanging on in upkeep with our current house sitting house (4,000 square feet, 5 bathrooms, and a large shedding dog, argh!) 

BUT the other thing that has been taking the time (and is largely invisible) is the enormous number of decisions we need to make.

We're currently in the midst of flooring research, which - alone - has hundreds of options.  We're probably going with hardwood downstairs, but there's also that wood-look tile that someone mentioned.  And then there's engineered wood and solid hardwood.  And a bazillion (I counted ;) ) color options.  And board widths.  And whether we're installing it or having professionals handle it.  And where we're buying it.  etc, etc, ETC!

And, of course, how it fits in to the timeline, budget, and aesthetic of all of the other details of the house.

Phew.  I don't mean to complain, because really this is a dream come true to get to decorate our little dream house.  I guess I'm just surprised at how different this feels from the last house, where I made design choices almost impulsively, or at least without the belaboring of options I find to be overwhelming this time around.

People often commented on our lack of fear in diving in to renovations in Ithaca with lots of enthusiasm and little (or no) knowledge or experience.  I always laugh and say that we weren't afraid because literally anything we did was going to be better than it was.

I wasn't afraid of messing things up, so I could jump right in.  Now that we have a house with a much nicer starting place (and a potential residence time that far exceeds that of house #1) a fear of failure (or just the wrong decision) has put a damper on my renovation enthusiasm.  BUT, I'm trying to remember to "never let the perfect be the enemy of the good" (longer post percolating on that topic) and remember that I never regretted any of my gut-reaction decisions about colors or finishes in Ithaca.

Maybe soon we'll have something to show for all of the thinking ;)

***

Congratulations to Ruth Anne who won the giveaway of Minimize the Mess by Rachel Kratz.  Ruth Anne, watch for an email from Rachel!  And to everyone else, remember that Rachel's book is available for purchase here and on Amazon.